We are like that only

While in a boring office meeting in the office, a document was required and one of my colleagues rushed out saying, "I am having it in my system, I am just bringing it". Being an MBA ASSpirant, wrong english in any form generates an irritation similar to the one created by sound of scratching chalk on glass board. Even though my knowledge of the language is half cooked to say the least, it doesn't stop me from correcting people when they speak incorrect english. In the process I have offended, my BTP guide, my dad, my brother, my boss and the list goes on...

English is not our first language, although India has the highest number of english speakers in the world (power of population you see!). So despite the fact that most of us have learnt english right from the primary school, we have an instinct to translate from the vernacular when we speak. So ideally when it should be "I take the exam", we say "I give the exam". But if you think translating vernacular is the only problem then I might add here that the bigger problem is whatever english we are exposed to, is American, we are surrounded by American movies, American songs, American advertisements. So when McDonald's catch line says "I'm lovin' it", it escapes unnoticed that the queen would have committed suicide at the look of it.

Take your pick, Times of India, India Today, Outlook, Indian Express can all be used to practice sentence correction. They all are full of blunders. But, didn't our parents ask us to read "english" newspapers to improve english? If only their innocence allowed them to see the crap in those papers.

I learnt most of my english speaking from HBO and Star Movies in the summer vacations of school time. Not a very wise choice I must say, then one day I was watching British classic "Yes Minister!", there Sir Humphrey utters "It was I, minister!", I was utterly confused, shouldn't it be "It was me", we usually say "It's me". Well, it turned out that usually we are wrong. I is subjective case and me is objective case and blah blah blah. Turning back to Wren and Martin seemed like call of the day, but it turned out that it had its share of discrepancies. So out of sheer frustration I thought why the hell am I supposed to learn pure english just for the sake of getting into a B-School? When the truth is that colloquial english is miles away from classic queen's version. Well is it? It took me a lot of time to realise that while Americans are happy saying, "johny and me went to the parlor", their books and formal language are by and large devoid of such crimes.

If at this stage you are asking what is the way to perfect english, I would say I don't know, I tried reading good non-fiction (I don't have any reservation against fiction, find writing non-fiction more intellectual), but I am very lazy there, I tried getting my basics correct, which were pretty much correct I gathered. It is just the pollution of incorrect english that erodes the all the good english in you. If you can find a way to get away from such pollution, kindly enlighten me.

Whatever be the case, whatever be the level of pure english we inculcate and farther the distance becomes from our vernacular...a majority of population in this country would still confidently throw sentence like "I am having two children" but isn't that the way language evolves? and speaking of us Indian, well "we are like that only".

PS: With all due respect to the author of the book "we are like that only", nor have I read it, neither do I know the author. I just came across it in a book shop and the title was tempting enough to write an article about it.